I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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