Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
