I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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