I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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