Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
