my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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