I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
