Im at strip club and am horny
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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