it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
