took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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