'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
