SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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