She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
