is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
