I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
