sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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