So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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