I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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