She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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