how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Randomize
