He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
