i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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