it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
