Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
