I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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