4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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