I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
