when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
