quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
