I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
