we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
