what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
