I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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