She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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