My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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