Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
