My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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