It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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