9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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