he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
