...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
