the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
