My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
