He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
