So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
