Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
