so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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