Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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