nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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