We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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