just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
