I'm so fucking centered right now
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
