Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
