im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i now understand why vodka
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
