Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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