This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
