If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
