why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We left an ass print on the piano.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
